We received confirmation, from blood work, that our transfer didn’t work. At first I wanted to get going and have transfer number two ASAP, or as soon as funds allowed. Now that the dust has settled and I don’t spend every waking moment thinking about IVF and pregnancy, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to have the second transfer next month. I don’t want to do it ever! If I can avoid putting myself through the intense mental torture and eventual pain, I will.
I’m scared that the next transfer won’t work and I’m scared that it will work. If we get pregnant I’ll be paranoid and fearful of another miscarriage. It’s ridiculous! I’m in pre-pregnancy purgatory and it’s exhausting.
If we could do anything right now, my husband and I would be on the next flight to Las Vegas. We’d party like Spring Breakers and leave our problems for tomorrow. Dreams aside, that’s not going to happen. Not only are we emotionally drained, so are our bank accounts. IVF is expensive business.
For now our future plans are up in the air and we’re enjoying a mental break, but IVF has taught me that I’ll probably change my mind tomorrow. Nothing is set in stone.
Catch up on my Progress so far – Progress #7 – 6 Days Past 5 Day Transfer
Featured image – Vegas for amateurs courtesy of – HollyCampCards – Etsy store